Struggling sister-in-law chastises brother for suggesting she sell her $60k engagement ring: 'Our family has given them over $150,000 combined to help keep them afloat'

JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor

Aug 18, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Should you have to sell your engagement ring if you're in financial trouble?

When u/DifficultOffice6268 shared their story to the AITAH subreddit, they didn't know quite what they were in for. Sometimes family drama comes along and throws a wrench in your best-laid plans. You do your best to make sure everyone is happy and that there is no conflict, but this is utterly impossible. When people in a family are coming together, and life happens, conflict is bound to arise. It's all about how you react to it when it does. That's what happened in this family, when one branch of it was experiencing some financial hardship. If you have a supportive family, you might look to them in times of need. You might even ask them for money. They don't have to give it to you, but it's not out of bounds to ask for a loan from your well-off family. That is, if you have no other options. People don't generally like giving money to people who are acting hypocritically. If you're spending a lot of money, or if you're sitting on unnecessary assets, then you might expect that people are going to have a shorter bandwidth for borrowing. That's what was happening in this family, at least.

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*A woman shows off her engagement ring to another person holding her hand*

Your engagement ring is a big deal. Most couples spend a lot of money on it, or either inherit it as a family heirloom. You're probably proud to wear it, and it symbolizes an important commitment in your life. But it's also an asset that you're sitting on. It's probably worth a lot of money, and it's not appreciating in value on your finger. But at what point of financial desperation does ceremony outweigh need? And is that a question that anyone else should be asking you? That's what came up in this story.

Am I in the wrong for pushing my sister- in-law to sell her $60k engagement ring?

My brother's business is going through severe financial issues, and as a result he and my sister- in-law are in a very bad financial situation. Between my parents, siblings, and other relatives, our family has given them over $150,000 combined to help keep them afloat.

The original poster added some context about the financial difficulty.

They have three kids under 3 and are stuck in an $8,500/month lease until early next year, so their expenses are still extremely high even though their financial circumstances have changed dramatically.

It's understandable that the family had reached their limit on help.

At this point, I don't think the family is likely to give them much, if any, additional money. Ideally, we would also eventually get at least some of the money we've already given them back. My sister-in-law has an engagement ring that originally cost around $60,000, and I've been pushing for them to sell it. I'm getting a fair amount of blowback for that.

*An engagement ring with a precious gemstone sits on someone's finger*

He thought that it was unfair to ask them for more money if they hadn't exhausted all options.

I understand that she wouldn't get anywhere close to the original purchase price and that an engagement ring is highly sentimental. But it's hard for me to reconcile the family having contributed more than $150k while they continue to hold onto a luxury asset worth tens of thousands of dollars.

Nobody wants to feel like they're subsidizing a lifestyle for no reason.

At a certain point, it starts to feel like we're subsidizing luxury rather than simply helping a family through a crisis. If they can sell the ring for a meaningful amount, that money could go toward supporting their kids, paying necessary expenses, or potentially repaying some of the family members who stepped in to help them.

Was this too harsh of a suggestion?

Other people think I'm being too harsh because it's her engagement ring and has emotional significance. Am I being unreasonable for pushing them to sell it?

Edit: I was one of the people who lent them money in case it's unclear Edit 2: They tried to negotiate out of the lease, but landlord says no unless he can find another tenant. They live in a very landlord friendly state so they'd still be on the hook for the remaining rent.

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